Fiddle Leaf Fig, I Wish That I Never Brought You Home

At the start of the pandemic, we were all cycling through similar horrors: How will we get 36 rolls of toilet paper?! Yeast! We need yeast to make our own bread! and, Quick, buy a ton of houseplants! Ultimately, we got the toilet paper and grocery thing sorted. I never did have to resort toContinue reading “Fiddle Leaf Fig, I Wish That I Never Brought You Home”

WTAF: Special Needs Education During the Pandemic

I try to be funny and encouraging and post about the little victories. But there are days when the grind that is parenting children with special needs is just overwhelmingly impossible. It doesn’t FEEL impossible, it’s like, actually impossible. How we make it to bedtime each day most often feels like it involved magic. Now,Continue reading “WTAF: Special Needs Education During the Pandemic”

REJOICE! The kids are actually playing with toys!

Every parent knows that they have *cough* hundreds of dollars in toys malingering in bins and closets. The trick is, you wait long enough and then, oh, sacrifice a white goat while singing “I am the Walrus”, then drag out that box of pretend food. But when they actually play with the food?? Like, inContinue reading “REJOICE! The kids are actually playing with toys!”

51% Worth It!

It’s known as 51/49 around here, and it refers to something being just barely more “fun” than “shit show”. If my odds of having a successful mission are 51% then I am going for it. Those are the best odds I’m going to get. Ever. I could label it an autism thing, or a threeContinue reading “51% Worth It!”

Pandemic Distance Learning 2020: Parenting Survival Hacks (the Autism Version)

During synchronous learning with the teacher, don’t stress about having a Pinterest-worthy classroom. Leave that laundry right there. If little brother is yelling about having to pee, even better. Best to set that bar nice and low from the outset. Finding your Halloween Monster magnet set with the phonics toys is a wonderful opportunity toContinue reading “Pandemic Distance Learning 2020: Parenting Survival Hacks (the Autism Version)”

A “stay-at-home” mom experiences life validation as homeschooling becomes what we do now.

I have long chided myself that my education has been squandered. I never finished my master’s or published my research. And that career I was scraping together? No, that’s not what I do now. I am a full-time parent who does not “work”. I had spent years chasing my education before graduating with a sexyContinue reading “A “stay-at-home” mom experiences life validation as homeschooling becomes what we do now.”

Paranoid Behaviors That Predict The Future?

I’m feeling like that little girl from the movie “Signs”, the one who left the glasses of water everywhere that later became instrumental in the annihilation of creepy aliens. Except it’s packets of hand wipes and my obsessive penchant for hand cleanliness that will save my family from getting covid-19. For 15 years, I haveContinue reading “Paranoid Behaviors That Predict The Future?”

Savage Potty Training

I never imagined that I would be writing a potty training success story that involved carnivorous plants! I have offered literally everything to my child if only we could say goodbye to diapers. And this is a walking, talking, knows-how-to-use-a-tablet-better-than-me little person. It was well past time. In a family of thee autistic kids, IContinue reading “Savage Potty Training”

This was going to be the year I focused on “Me”.

I’m a woman of a certain age and I am due my mid-life crisis. For a dozen years, my life has been the tough slog of motherhood. Making the babies, birthing the babies, caring for and raising the babies. I’m done with babies! Now, I’m surrounded by preschool to pre-pubescent boys and I’m really feelingContinue reading “This was going to be the year I focused on “Me”.”

People who claim to enjoy enjoy homeschooling, and other tools I’ll be unfollowing on Instagram

Oh, you think this is an amazing opportunity to spend more time together? You’re excited to learn common core math? Those few hours when you had the house to yourself made you feel lonely and unproductive? Well, bless your heart. That means go fuck yourself. I have never been less excited about the prospect ofContinue reading “People who claim to enjoy enjoy homeschooling, and other tools I’ll be unfollowing on Instagram”