Every parent knows that they have *cough* hundreds of dollars in toys malingering in bins and closets.

The trick is, you wait long enough and then, oh, sacrifice a white goat while singing “I am the Walrus”, then drag out that box of pretend food. But when they actually play with the food?? Like, in an actual imagination game with a story line. It’s like a parenting Truth has actualized. It seems ridiculous that I’m this excited, but that’s a damn miracle and needs to be celebrated. I will happily play restaurant every damn day. It’s infinitely better than trying to play Godzilla, which we’re also into. Shudder. Or having Minecraft explained to me? Kill me now.

Today they played with the imaginary food for an hour and then, one kid disappeared…he had dragged out the exceeding costly toy trains we all own!

It’s cosmic. I’m having a glass of wine and yes, leave that shit everywhere because maybe we’ll get another game going tomorrow. I’ll order some fake ice cream and lots of fake coffee. I think if they charge me for it, this also counts as math.

Hot. Damn.