My Google search history reads like I’m drunk

Valentine’s Day crafts kids

Is rebound trampoline good for lymphatic drainage?

How can I stop being so annoyed by everyone?

Is that character Noah also from Mad Men?

Why does it hurt when I suck in my stomach?

Best hair dye for grays

Best under eye serum

Best CBD gummies

Best THC gummies

13 searches for “covid news schools”

Best historical fiction

[Falls down a Wikipedia rabbit hole]

Are probiotics really a thing?

Supplements that make you lose weight

I will Google anything and I have. If I’m upset or worried about something, I’m going to confess to the Google search bar before I text a friend.

Because Google never judges. And she always (eventually) tells me what I want to hear.

It may take an hour, but I will find an article that validates any intrusive thoughts that habitually crop up around midnight.

It is a problem and also a delicious addiction. The ownership of those answers invariably leads to 90-something open tabs in Chrome as I toggle between there and my to-do app. I can tell I’ve had a really rough night of Google-ing by the number of reminders that pop up the next day. From “book vet appointment” to YAYY, “buy new flats for Cynthia”!

Oooof. I am AMBITIOUS at 1 am! And spendy. Too often Google-ing leads to bleary eyed shopping and that’s a whole other kettle of fish.

Google, tell me to go to sleep!

Is 5 1/2 hours enough sleep?

What are the risks of long-term melatonin use?

Easter shirts boys


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